Every morning hubby’s alarm clock goes off at 5:50am. Yes, that’s correct. A full hour and ten minutes before my friends Matt, Meredith, Ann and Al say “Good Morning.” And I say “hubby’s” alarm clock because after I had Youngest and was getting up every thirty seconds to change diapers, nurse or rock to sleep, I realized that I was never really asleep anyway and so why bother with an alarm? I laugh in the face of sleep. bwwaaaaahahahahaha. It is for the weak. In fact, if you’re not doing anything exciting tomorrow night, come on over and I’ll challenge you to a “No Sleep-Off” (because that would be really exciting). Betcha I win.
But I digress.
Everyday, without fail, when hubby’s LOUD alarm goes off I immediately tense up and hold my breath just praying and hoping that Oldest doesn’t hear his alarm and fly out of bed searching frantically for her milk while screaming “MilkLeche Daddy! MilkLeche!” [Yes, yes, we do ROCK in the Teaching Our Kids Foreign Languages category, thankyouverymuch.] “Please stay asleep for just another ten minutes” I silently pray. He usually turns it off on about the second ring. And sometimes she wakes up and sometimes she doesn’t. But THIS morning, hubby was either trying to make me bite his head off or secretly dip his toothbrush in the toilet [relax, the thought never crossed my mind] because he let the darn alarm ring like FIVE times.
And it was really amazing just how upset I got. Because mommy is back on the diet horse and therefore cranky. And mommy exercised yesterday evening. And therefore mommy is tired and needs her sleep. And her Cherry Garcia.
Don’t judge me. I know where you keep your toothbrush.