Posted on 5.15.09 at 9:59 am
I am turning the big 35 tomorrow. It seems a little surreal for me though. I’m officially crossing over into that next box – you know, I’m moving from the 25-34 box into the 35 to what, 44 box – I guess! Or is the 35-50 box – OMG!!!!!
I feel like it snuck up on me. I can remember turning 25 and I definitely remember turning 31 because that was the weekend that I finally got over my horrible bout of morning sickness and it was the birthday that my husband coined “the last birthday of not being anyone’s mama”. But where have the last 5 years disappeared? I got married and had a baby, switched jobs three times, gained about 25 pounds and everything else is a blur. It seems like ever since having my daughter it has really been about her.
I never wanted to be one of the mothers whose life revolved around her kids but it seems like that’s exactly what I’ve become. And I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It just seems to be! I have tried to stay a little fly – but c’mon though how fly can I really be when I’m 25 pounds overweight? I have tried to get my hair and nails done when I can. I have had a few facials and spa days. But in all honesty I don’t think that I’ve done enough of those things – the things that I should be doing for myself
. I’ve been on one girls trip and that was our trip to Dallas with the AHA
. There have been no mommy-daddy vacations. I hardly shop for myself. And a night out is a dinner for three – not two.
I would like to change these things (and I’ve said it before) and I think that this is the perfect time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter with all my heart and I love the person that she’s becoming. I also like the place that I’ve reached as a mommy (and a wife
). But I also believe that my daughter needs to see not a perfect mommy, but a mother who can keep it together. And I think my hubby would like to see the same too! I don’t think it’s healthy to be so caught up with your kids that you lose yourself in the process. I feel like I’m slipping away.
So, I guess this birthday is another turning point in my journey….and gosh, there seems to have been a lot recently. My birthday wish for this year is to “keep it together!”