[Scene - Nighttime on December 25. Chatterbox's and Giggles' bedroom. Girls saying their bedtime prayers.]
Me: Girls, remember to thank God for your Christmas presents.
Chatterbox: But Mom, God didn’t bring us our presents…Santa did!
Me: [silently] Oh boy.
[Scene - Day 5 of Kwanzaa. At the living room table lighting the kinara.]
Me: Girls, today we celebrate Nia, which means purpose. “Purpose” means our reason for being or what we’re meant to do. Can you tell me what your purpose is?
Chatterbox: My purpose is to WEAR MOMMY OUT!
I swear I can’t even make this stuff up.