Mother’s Day expectations

What does Mother’s Day really mean?  It’s a recognition day that is becoming more and more like Valentine’s Day in my opinion – commercial.  My expectation is that this is the one day of the year that mother is celebrated and treated like a queen; when all normal motherly duties are suspended and mother takes a break. My mother’s day was not exactly like that.

It started off very leisurely but quickly turned into a huge migraine.  Hubby did a great job of getting out of the house early in the morning to get breakfast and flowers.  After breakfast we both fell asleep on the couch – me with a headache and the house in a huge mess.  After I awoke, I got princess showered, hair washed and ready to go and then it was my turn.  Over an hour later, I retuned downstairs with a bag of laundry in my hand and the living room still in a mess.  I was so pissed off that my head just started pulsating and I could tell that I was heading for a migraine.  I couldn’t believe after spending so much time in the bathroom, both with princess and myself, I would return to the living room from hell.  I started cleaning and I wasn’t at all pleased and in my passive aggressive manner showed my displeasure with the banging of cabinet doors and the like.  I probably also huffed and puffed a lot because I was stunned that on mother’s day I.was.cleaning.

Hubby said that he had started cleaning and that I “took over” so he retreated to the couch – give me a break!  If you were really cleaning and really interested in helping so I wouldn’t have to, you should have said, don’t worry about all this, I’ll do it.  Because I’m helping doesn’t mean I’m taking over; it just means that I’m helping.

I asked Fergie this morning whether I was supposed to state to hubby, I do not want to clean and do laundry today on mother’s day.  She replied yes!  And she’s right.  It’s becoming clearer to me that unsaid expectations only lead to disappointments. I am annoyed that I would have to articulate such a common-sensical request, but clearly I have to. I’m saddened to finally accept that I have to take more control of my own happiness rather than leaving it to chance.

Hubby and I get into these huge arguments all the time and at their root is usually my disappointment.  I am realizing that I’m disappointed because of what I expect to happen but also I’m not articulating what I want to happen. 

So from here on out, I shall state what I want, even with the most mundane and routine things, because it’s the only way to avoid disappointment.

How was your day? Was it what you expected?