Are we negotiating our way out of marriage?
Posted on 10.18.10 at 10:57 am
By now you’ve probably seen or heard of the latest video sensation “Black Marriage Negotiations.” Well this video and the ensuing discussion around my office couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. Hubby and I are going through a pretty rough patch right now and it was enlightening for me to listen to some of my male colleagues’ perspectives on marriage and what they want and need in a woman and a happy home.
I’m quite confused right now, probably because I’m amidst the turmoil in my house, but what do you think?
Conversely, here’s one woman’s opinion about what she thinks would make a happy life. Thoughts, suggestions, recommendations?
10.18.10 at 3:14 pm
Aiyana Ma'at
Twitter: BlkLuvNMarriage
comments:
Love, love, love your transparency in this post! My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 8 and have 4 busy busy children!
I have grown alot in my marriage over the years and still have a whole lot of room to grow. I think one of the keys here is to remember that relationships, like people, are ever evolving, growing, and changing–and so there will be places and spaces in our relationships (as in our lives) where will be out of sync with our spouse and tired of trying and talking bout’ the same old stuff over and over again But, we have to stay in the ring even when we want to step out and we have to look at our husband or wife and ask “What is their UNMET NEED? When we can get to what the unmet need is we can push all of the distracting details (i.e., ego) out of the way and really see where the gap is and figure out how we can help to fill it—IF we’re able. The Unmet need tells the true story. At the end of the day the difference between successful couples/relationships and unsuccessful couples/relationships is not the kinds of issues they’re experiencing—it’s the way they handle them. Hang in there sis! It’s all a part of the process! :-) Check out how my husband says I “improved” my grade as his wife… http://www.bintentional.com/2010/08/how-aiyana-improved-her-grade-as-a-wife/
Aiyana Ma’at´s last post: The Ma’at Children Talk Love & Marriage
10.18.10 at 9:38 pm
Justice Fergie
Twitter: www.twitter.com/justicefergie
comments:
I hadn’t heard of this video! It made me laugh b/c I could see several of my single friends in the woman at the negotiating table.
I must say that I’ve become very humbled and in tune with my spouse during our 7 years of marriage. And we’ve definitely had our difficult spots, but I do feel as though we’ve hit a great groove at this stage.
And everything the woman in the Keep It Hot video said is certainly true! Which is why each day that passes and I don’t get off my behind to lose weight, I feel increasingly unhappy.
Did you and Hubby ever try The Love Dare? It was really eye-opening for me.
Justice Fergie´s last post: Are we negotiating our way out of marriage
10.18.10 at 10:22 pm
Justice Ny
Twitter: JusticeNy
comments:
Thanks Aiyana for the advice and suggestion. I have to find the courage to ask the question and listen to the answer. I pray to get there soon.
Fergie, I’m so happy that you guys are in a good place. We have not tried The Love Dare; I promise that if we make it through this patch, I’ll try it. Promise.
11.19.10 at 5:20 pm
Shanta comments:
I would definitely recommend The Love Dare, it is a challenge, but well worth it.
With regard to the videos, the first was hilarious, and the second was on point. Thanks for being so open, it will help yourself and others that read your blog.
Shanta´s last post: In the Meantime