I have this on my dresser and read it every morning. It never gets old!

We’ve all seen behavioral logs from your child’s teachers.  Many of you probably even have one or two of your own for your kids. Princess devised her own behavior log that rates mom, dad and herself every day! Haven’t seen this one yet….have you? The impetus for the chart was her anger at dad one day for some kind of punishment and upon entering her room not only was there a hand-drawn picture of daddy with his name on it with a big line through it, but there was this log that she designed.  Three equal columns with our names affixed to the top of the chart and a legend at the bottom. There are three options – check mark, x and a star – each progressively worse than the former.

Of course, it was funny upon first sight because neither of us could imagine that she would design this all on her own.   We also thought the novelty would wear off; it hasn’t.  Princess rates us every night before the lights go out for bed.  As you can see mom isn’t doing so well (middle column).  In fact, I swear her default for me is the star because “I give her too much trouble” as she would say.  Her rating is based on how good we were to her that day. Trust me, she takes this chart very seriously.  Neither mom nor dad is permitted to write on this chart and she completes it every.single.night.

At first it was funny – not funny as in hilarious but funny as in stunned to laughter. Stunned that she would be so insightful to rate us as she’s rated, and stunned at her tenacity and persistence in maintaining this record.  I sure hope she’s going to be the next barack obama or steve jobs with all this spunk.  Otherwise, good father have mercy!

Her personality is HUGE!!!  Among the many twists and turns a large personality brings are regular meltdowns and outbursts of “I don’t like you!” and “I wish I had another mommy!” when things don’t go exactly as she wishes. I dread the feelings and internal conversations that ensue.  They often morph into larger arguments and always result in me thinking that I’m definitely inadequate and not doing something right because there is no other rational reason for her to say these things.

Fergie shed a little light for me and since that conversation I feel a lot better about my mothering skills and abilities – she simply told me that she gets those outburst too.  That was it!  I’m not alone and it’s not me.  Since coming to this realization I have not had any of these outbursts so I have to come up with a strategy for the next time.  But what a relief in knowing that I’m not alone. Are you experiencing a similar battle with your princess?  Have you gone through this stage?  What did you do and how did you handle it?

This weekend I had a discussion with a fantastic Atlanta hairdresser who introduced me to some fabulous products (after I try them myself, I’ll share my thoughts) and schooled me on the importance of embracing my hair.  What was most memorable about our discussion was her advice about setting a good image for princess when it comes to loving my hair (and I will add, my weight, my skin and the way I present myself to the world).  She reminded me that as a sponge, princess will repeat and internalize what she sees me doing and therefore I owed it to her to present a positive healthy portrayal of the way I treat myself, including my hair.  So….I am beginning a new journey for her….

Tomorrow is the first PTA meeting – so we’ll see how that goes!!!

BTW…I’ve been home for the past three days and it’s beautiful.  I’ve dropped her off and picked her up at 3:15. Oh, how I want this to be permanent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for all the encouragement … I needed it:)

Second, she’s going to be doing this alone.  I’m tearing up as I write now because I’m scared for her, worried about her, excited and hopeful for what this means for her.  Did I make the right choice?  Is this school the right place for her? Will she be encouraged to sour and create and become herself?  Will she make friends? Will she like her teacher?  Will her teacher like her?  Will she be comfortable and feel safe?  There are just so many questions going through my head right now.  I may be more worried/sacred/nervous about this than she.  Actually, I know I am because she barely realizes what this means.  In fact while buying her uniforms over the weekend, I had a mini-meltdown (in the store) because the thoughts, fears, anxieties all came rushing at once.  How is she going to handle this?  How am I?

Third, I received a letter from her school tonight informing me that she will be starting school on Monday, 23rd – what????  I thought I had one more week, how, oh how did this creep up on me too?  Then, for some reason I only realized today that there will not be after school activities for the first week.  What does that mean – I have to pick her up at 3:15!!!!  OMG, 3:15, how in the world are working parents supposed to do this?

So much going on and only a few days for mommy to get it together and get a grip.  I’m wiping tears now and getting it together.

Mommmyyy.

Mo-m-my!

Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyy. 

And guess what, sometimes I choose to ignore it, especially when I know what’s coming next. I don’t know if its the tone of the voice, the way in which the syllables are varied, or what but 9 out of 10 times I know exactly what’s coming next.  And if I’m not in the mood to deal with the issue following the word “Mommy,” I have trained my brain to tune it out and hope that whoever is calling my name is able to work it out themselves. 

So many mommies, let me count the ways: 

• Mommy that means  I’m bored, help me do something. (Sometimes ignored.)
• Mommy that means someone is bothering me and I need you to do something.  (Almost always ignored. When I finally do answer, someone’s in trouble.)
• Mommy that will be followed by I’m hungry. (Okay, fine)
• Mommy that means I can’t find something, need you to come help me. (Pause, wait to see if they find it, then answer.)
• Mommy that means I’m just calling your name because I haven’t called it in about five minutes. (Ignore.) 
• Mommy that means come look, I’m so excited, come see.  (Okay, fine.)

BUT, last Saturday, I heard a different Mommy coming from Oldest. I heard it in his voice that this was a serious, I’m panicking, type of Mommy.  So I answered right away and lo and behold, THERE WAS A FIRE IN DAUGHTER’S ROOM.

Yep, JUST A FIRE.

We were getting ready to go to the library and then swimming and everyone was in charge of cleaning his or her room if they planned on participating in the fun activities.  And there’s my daughter, cleaning her room and tossing her clothes in the air like pom-poms, “like a cheerleader does it.” Of course, because that’s how you clean up your clothes if your cheerleader.  So while she’s busy cheering her cleaning efforts up,  her hot pink Hello Kitty shirt landed on her chandelier.  Her little five year old self didn’t realize that if you leave a shirt on a light bulb long enough it will catch on fire so eventually, it did.

Oldest smelled the smoke and went to investigate and sees the shirt go up in flames “right in front of [him]” and that’s when he started calling my name.  I’m walking out of my room to investigate and next thing I hear is “FIRE! FIRE!” and I’m convincing myself this can’t be, especially since the fire alarms were not going off.

Like any super mom would, I used my jet pack on my back and flew up all 15 stairs and was in the room in less than a second only to see a shirt on her chandelier with slow flames pretty much all over it in a smoke filled room.   I grabbed the shirt, flames and all, tossed it the bathroom sink, doused it with water, and viola, we were finished.

R-I-P Hello Kitty shirt.

P.S. Yes, I fixed all fire alarms and still don’t know why the hell my electrical fire alarms did.not. go. off. 

WTH am I supposed to do with that? She’s four and notwithstanding the myriad of issues that I’m already facing (and I say “I’m facing” because Daddy doesn’t get down like that) I can’t imagine it getting any worse.

I need SuperNanny to come to my house to straighten this chick out because I have no idea what to do and I’m pretty fed up with her constant opposition.

She’s four!!!!!!

Advice???

I meant to post about episode “Grandma Says I Can” for a while now, but I just couldn’t find the time. There is a new episode online now (see sidebar) about another very interesting issue – pacifiers or not.

But, back to the point at hand…my issue isn’t grandma it’s hubby. Watch the episode below and replace “grandma” with “hubby” and tell me what you think.

I am the iron fist in our house while daddy is fun daddy. That’s great for princess because fun is always around, but it vilifies me because I come in like clouds on a sunny day. It is getting better, I must admit, as hubby tries to stand behind my decisions more, but it’s still an issue.

Have you faced a similar issue? How did you handle it? Let a mama know because I’m lost with this one…

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